DAY 436 Nice Buns

I am sure you have watched all kinds of old movies where a loving wife delivers a birthday cake to their husband who has been locked behind bars. Inside that birthday cake is a file meant to be used by the husband late at night when the lights are out and the guards are sleepy. He will wake and slowly make his way to the window and file away the bars by the light of the moon. He will make slow progress hiding his filings in his prison uniform pockets and dump them in the yard the next time he is allowed access….think Shawshank Redemption.  Has anyone ever questioned why those prison uniforms have pockets anyway? 

This story is sort of related.

I originally had a mobile phone during my previous incarceration and had kept it, perhaps thinking I would need it again if I did go back to prison. Well I did and I did, so I figured instead of buying a new mobile phone from the terrorists I would just ask Kupu to smuggle it in. Now, you might be thinking this is a risky venture and a lot to ask of a loved one. Please keep in mind that the terrorists are bringing them in every day and I could just ask a guard to bring one in for me as well but I didn’t want to pay that premium and the issue with asking a guard to do it is they now know you have a phone, so you run the risk of having a random room search or have to continuously pay the guard to turn a blind eye. Since I already  had one, I asked Kupu to smuggle it in the next time she would be visiting.

When people come to visit they usually bring food and supplies you can’t get on the inside. Some of my favourite things to receive were non-toxic mosquito repellant, milk without a shit load of sugar added and good bread. On the outside, you could buy good bread from a Korean bakery chain. One of my favourite items was their hot cross buns, which came in a six-pack all baked together. They were quite dense and we figured they would make a good hiding spot to smuggle in the phone. The plan was to buy the buns, cut them open delicately, dig out enough of the inside to make a slot for the phone to be hidden, then reattach the top of the buns to make it look normal.

The day came for Kupu to visit and try to smuggle in the phone. She got to the visiting area where all bags are “inspected” for contraband….think of the scene from the Grand Budapest Hotel.  She did her best to remain calm, act normally and keep from sweating, which on any day in Jakarta is not easy. I sat in the visiting area waiting for her to arrive with nervous anticipation, I was sweating but that was meant to make it look as though it was any other ordinary day, as sweat is par for the course in Cipinang. You are required to waer trousers when in the visiting area for reasons I shall get into another time.

After what seemed to be an extra long wait for Kupu to arrive I caught sight of her. Did she make it or was the phone, and even worse the delicious hot cross buns confiscated? She sat down calmly, looked at me and nodded slightly. Success!!

However, the mobile phone did smell like hot-cross buns for the longest time which made me hungry every time I used it. If you are wondering, Kupu did eat the inside of the buns that she had to dig out to make room for the phone.

The lesson here is never throw away freshly baked goods.

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